pause

I'm taking a moment away from my close reading assignment (I love you ENG 425) to pause life.

I just had the most amazing moment:
Sitting here in JavaStop, people line up, order their coffee and chat it up in line. I grab my laptop out of my backpack, sat on the couch facing the coffee bar and started typing my paper. I take a deep breath and the next thing I know I am caught in a moment where it seems like everything outside of me is going full speed and I am suspended in this...this moment. I don't know what else to call it. The smell of espresso shots, the buzz of 9 am morning conversations, the lull of literature laying next to me, and my favorite song comes onto the radio. Wow. Blessed much? And this has been happening to me quite a bit within the last 12 hours.

Last night I was sitting in my room at work, and the rest of the BGCC staff poured into the room. As Manny was talking about some stuff around the clubhouse I looked around and realized how much things have changed since this time last year: new people, new problems, new journeys and stories. I took a deep breath and smiled. It is beautiful. Amidst all the hurt and pain (that is still occurring) the change has been, and will continue to be, beautiful. Later in the night I joined a friend for a study session in DB's for Anthro 330 (let's be honest, I needed to give it a better try than I had my PHY 104 midterm only a few hours earlier) and we started going over the study guide (which has a story itself). I was getting Blazers game updates on my phone from Brad, Lynzi was telling me about a potential boy, Susie was making plans to come up to Corvy for the weekend and my anthem began to play over the dutch house (lyrics posted 2 blogs below). I, again, exhaled and took it all in. <3

My life is pretty much amazing. I'm not going to lie: I cry and throw fits a lot- life isn't perfect for me. But it is the little things I enjoy. Lately it is Gabe Bondoc, AJ Rafael and Andrew Garcia whose voices sing me through a bit of trouble, going through the book of Mark and figuring out how awful of a representation of Christ I am despite some of my best efforts, and sitting in a quiet house, doing laundry and applying to grad school.

here, i'll share the love:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cJBzU_QLA4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPTI97FEFns

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2Cwoo2R4Xg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uwxq8dVWvlQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXk_KVNfInU

...listen to those and open your bible to Mark and you're golden!

love love love
-kalinmae